What should I do if I can’t afford therapy?
If you consciously move towards better, better becomes closer.
No matter the move.
Finding the right professional help will be helpful for nearly all of us, but if for any reason beginning counselling is not possible for you right now, here are some outlets on how to help yourself.
Struggle turns into suffering when we begin to believe we are helpless. Which makes sense right.. if we do not believe we are capable of better, everything stops at that belief, nothing can get through “I am helpless.” So, in order to help yourself, the first step is to believe that you are capable of changing, change is a must and you are the one who must make the changes.
Begin taking some inventory of the beliefs that you hold that may be standing in between now and better. Some common examples include; ‘I am a victim.’ ‘No one understands.’ ‘I don’t know how, so I can’t.’ ‘Im not strong enough for this.’ ‘im not worth it.’
Once you’ve uncovered some or even just one trapping belief that you hold. Dissect it. Can you trace back where this belief comes from? What evidence do you have for this belief (that would stand up in court)? Is it true? What’s the intention of this belief?
A really tangible approach you can take is beginning a pen-to-paper practice. And no I’m not talking about “dear dumb diary…”. Write when you need your thoughts reflected back to you. Pen to paper is a form of therapy without a professional present, you get to be your own. Taking the thoughts out of your mind and onto paper is a space to reflect yourself back to yourself. When we have our minds reflected back to us, we create space for clarity and new, helpful thoughts to arise. It is a beautiful, effective, free tool you can use at your disposal to heal.
Write when you need to, write when you want to, and write when you feel like you're going a bit crazy.
Some journalling ideas;
Make a pros and cons list if you have a big decision to make.
Document your triggers and symptoms if you’re working through a mental health condition.
Make mood maps, outlining how you feel, and why, including any resolutions you know of that shift your state.
Track your progress toward goals, good habits, and positive behaviors.
Get creative, and express your inner state artistically through poems or even a song.
We can also take advantage of the age we live in. The internet is an incredible thing brimming with free information about nearly everything. Take a deep, committed dive into the existing world of self-help. Find some voices that you trust and that are credible, and take everything you receive with an open mind but also with a grain of salt.
Practice being who you want to be. Essentially this translates to stepping into your highest form of self-respect. How do you stand, dress, talk, or act when you are immensely proud of who you are? How do you treat others when you like who you are? What are you open to and how do you spend your time? Practice, as much as you can embodying this part of you. Try to get as close as you possibly can to this version of yourself, be specific and be honest.
A big part of showing yourself respect is going to be learning how to nurture your nervous system. Aside from relaxing being a self respective practice, it is vital to healing, no healing can sustainably take place, physically or mentally if our body is in the stress response. If our stress cycles do not fully compete, our body and mind are tense and no healing can take place. We need to create homeostasis in our body to progress forward, we do this by practicing being awake and relaxed, below are some exercises and resources to help you do just that.
It can be really helpful to have a clear idea of your values and what living in line with them looks like, your values are the things that you believe are important to the way you exist. They silently determine our priorities and are likely the measures you gauge from to tell if your life is acceptable and turning out the way you want it to. When the things that you do and the way you behave match your values, life generally feels good. But when life and all the things in it don't align with our personal values, that's when things feel... wrong. This can be a real source of pain. This is why making a conscious effort to identify your values is so important.
I promise that if you consciously move towards better, better will get closer. Take responsibility for your state, admit your weaknesses and look for resolve. There are many pathways to peace including accessible, free options that don’t involve booking a professional.
You can do this my friend!
Below are some great free resources for calming the nervous system and some self-help guides if you are struggling with a specific mental health illness.
I believe in you,
Tailah Cuman xx
RESOURCES FOR RELAXING AND SELF-HELP FOR SPECIFIC MENTAL HEALTH ILLNESSES
https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/mental-health#mental-health-self-help-guides
https://www.icope.nhs.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/02/C1-Guide_-relaxation-breathing-techniques_FINAL.pdf
https://www.nhsinform.scot/healthy-living/mental-wellbeing/stress/breathing-and-relaxation-exercises-for-stress#audio-breathing-and-relaxation-playlist
SELF SOOTHING TOOLBOX: https://www.canva.com/design/DAF68PhwUR8/view
